personal

I always find it baffling that people in general like me as a person. I dont know why they do. I dont get it. Im not great at all. All my art is mediocre and my maleup is just not even close to what i want it to be.
I work really hard and it seems like i just am always a foot behind of where i want to be.
This was supposed to be a rant journal but i might just complain about myself.
I know that im slightly attractive, but mostly to guys that arent anywhere near what i want for a relationship or anything otherwise.
It still weirds me out that people even find me attractive. What is there to like? Im not pretty. Im not skinny. Im not your typical "girl next door" type of person. I definitely am not quiet or sweet to people. I speak my mind and im loud. I always ask questions. I always read something. I like shitty cartoons and anime. I dont get it.